Oxford life. Thirtysomething challenges. Music leanings. Anything really.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Moping. Not moping

Tomorrow morning, good friends head off to All Tomorrow's Parties.

When I was fourteen, I bought my first left-of-centre album. It was"The Divine Punishment" by a woman called Diamanda Galas. I loved it; it involved lots of wailing, and singing about graveyards. It was beyond goth, and more akin to a horror movie put onto vinyl. Just check out the picture on her home page - she's the female Marilyn Manson. Don't believe me? Compare the above with this picture of Marilyn

I still listen to that album.

And she's playing All Tomorrow's Parties. For a host of reasons, I never got a ticket to the weekend, and as the weekend approached, I felt more and more gutted not to be going. Then, yesterday, a spare ticket became available.

This was cruel punishment. In order to go, I would have to (in chronological order):
a. pull a sicky and bail out of a case study for Fast Track in Sheffield
b. Disappoint my parents and brother by not meeting up with them tomorrow night
c. Pull out of a party held by an old mate in London on Saturday night
d. Not spend Sunday with Liz.

The answer was obvious, right? There was too much bad karma in pulling out of all these things and going to ATP. But, oh boy, you cannot imagine how close I was.

This was a real case where I get on a train track and nothing will deviate me from it.

But, no, I decided not to go to ATP - it was the Right Thing To Do. But, oh, it's left me feeling utterly gutted.

So I spent Thursday evening moping around the house, feeling miserable. But then I spoke to Ian, who's hosting the party on Saturday. And Brad, who'll also be going. And you know what? I can't wait - it's going to be a great weekend.

While I would love to be rocking to Diamanda, nineteen years after first being exposed to the world of non-chart music, instead I can share the weekend with family, friends and loved ones.

Not a bad alternative, really...

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